rectal thermometer

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.” Immediately, the husband drove down town to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, “Just a minute, listen to my side of it.

This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I’d locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.”

“Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire.” “When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing.”

He continued, “Then I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.”

“Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.” “Believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.”

Related Posts

Loretta Swit, Emmy-Winning

Loretta Swit’s Legacy and PassingLoretta Swit, best known for playing Maj. Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan on the TV series MASH*, passed away at 87 in her New…

GOP-Led J6 Investigation To Be Its Own Committee

New January 6 Committee Formation Georgia Republican Rep. Barry Loudermilk left a meeting with House Speaker Mike Johnson assured that his probe into the January 6 Capitol…

Just In: Jasmine Crockett Hit

In an emerging scandal that has humiliated the left and shocked the right, Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-TX) is now under investigation after a complaint was filed highlighting…

78-year-old Susan

Susan Sarandon is perhaps one of the most iconic actresses of her generation. Apart from holding her own on screen, the actress is known for never holding…

Indiana girl, 7, buried alive playing on south Florida beach

Indiana siblings Sloan and Maddox Mattingly’s beach day turned tragic at Lauderdale-by-the-Sea, Florida. What began as innocent fun digging in the sand ended with seven-year-old Sloan losing…

Attention: Money will arrive in abundance in the coming

Zodiac Signs Set for Financial Success If you’re a Taurus, Leo, or Sagittarius, good news: the stars point to a period of financial gain. Astrological alignments suggest…