Found on the Refrigerator One Morning :
My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old, can no longer satisfy.

I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter,

I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my

18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don’t be upset……

I shall be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining table.

My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 57 years old.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old.

As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this,

I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach.

He is young, virile and like your secretary, is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference – 18 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow!

Spanish Oysters!

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around during his 1stSpanish holiday.

While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, ‘What is that you just served?’

The waiter replied, ‘Si señor, you have excellent taste!

Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull’s testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!’

The cowboy said, ‘What the heck, bring me an order.’

The waiter replied, ‘I am so sorry señor There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning.

If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.’

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.

After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said,’These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.’

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied,

‘Si, señor. Sometimes the bull wins.”