This wasn’t a whim but a well-considered choice, clearly stated on the invitations. The decision was born from witnessing the unintended chaos that children can sometimes bring to such formalities. I’ve seen a wedding cake prematurely tasted by an impatient young guest, and that was something I didn’t want on my special day. The plot thickened with my only sibling and younger sister, Emily, and her son, my four-year-old nephew. Emily initially seemed keen on the idea of having a night off from taking care of little Jack until her boyfriend’s plans left her without childcare. I loved the little guy with all my heart, but he had the unplanned ability to steal the spotlight at the most awkward times. This wasn’t baseless; Jack’s performance at my parents’ retirement party had been a preview. My nephew managed to get himself tangled up in the music system’s wires, causing the almost two-hour silence we had to endure as that was addressed. A little boy running around in a field | During a phone call, Emily insisted that she wouldn’t be able to find someone else to watch Jack at such short notice, and when I offered to assist in that, she claimed she doesn’t trust her son with anyone else. I encouraged her to push Jack’s father, her boyfriend, to stick to his initial vow to look after their son on my wedding day. “Listen,” I began, broaching the subject with as much tact as I could muster. “I get where you’re coming from, I really do. I’ve seen what happens when kids get restless at weddings and events in general,” I explained. Remember the cake incident at Lisa’s wedding? I can’t have that happening,” I argued, invoking past wedding mishaps to make my case.