Humor: The rules from a man’s perspective

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us bitching about you leaving it down. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes – tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Check your oil! Please.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the offside rule, or monster trucks.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
No NO you really do have too many shoes.
It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn’t matter which quiz.

Related Posts

IMPORTANT SIGNS OF SERIOUS ILLNESS

Skin signals offer vital clues to serious diseases, expediting treatment. “Persistent and severe rashes demand medical attention,” warns experts. Conditions like Addison’s disease can trigger sudden discoloration….

So Far No One Has Found Another

There are three logical questions in total. Think of the answer and challenge your friends too. So Far No One Has Found Another Numbers Apart From 36….

My Mother-In-Law Gave Me Plastic Earrings While My Sister-In-Law Got a Diamond Necklace

My mother-in-law gave me plastic earrings. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law got a diamond necklace. I didn’t know how to react, so I just smiled awkwardly. As soon as…

Pat Sajak’s final ‘Wheel of Fortune’ episode has an airdate

After 43 years as host of Wheel of Fortune, Pat Sajak‘s final episode of America’s game has been set. Sajak’s reign as host of the iconic game…

Meg Ryan took a break from acting to spend time with her children: This is her today

Meg Ryan was born in Fairfield, Connecticut, in 1961 and had a tough childhood due to her parent’s divorce when she was a teenager.Even so, her natural…

My Husband Leaves Piles of Dirty Dishes and Refuses to Wash Them – One Day, I Taught Him a Real Lesson’s

Danielle’s kitchen once overflowed with dishes, but a playful plot turned it into a place of partnership. Discover how her creative maneuver sparked clean counters and renewed…